Written by: Alex Shaw

Part 4 of the Resident Evil musings.

Here’s something that’s been driving me batshit crazy lately. The greatest detractor from the reality of any given action game is that we are obliged to see all the animations. In Resident Evil 5 if an enemy is pulling back a spear to plunge it into your chest you can blast him in the face with a shotgun shell and the game will often, but not always do something like this.

Hmmm…

That should really have killed this mob here.

Still, I’ve started so I’ll finish.

Better luck next time pal.

And lo and behold, your shotgun is ineffective, while his pointy stick wins through and robs you of a third of your energy. If you sidestep, he pivots on the spot like one of those teacups at Disney World and homes the point in on you with laser-guided precision. In other words, if you’re in range, that stick’s hitting you no matter what.

The level of response to a good 40% of your shots in RE5 is nonexistent. You can plug an axe-wielding behemoth in the kneecaps, head, wherever; the game is not registering bullets hitting bone, it’s keeping count of the mobs internal damage bar. You have to shoot him precisely ten times in the head with your shotgun to take him down. Do it nine times and that guy WILL survive long enough to splatter you with his axe. On the tenth hit, he will crumble to the ground as his bar runs out, but his head will not explode. You didn’t shoot him really, you just rolled the dice enough times to lower his HP to zero. Other mobs are slightly different. In the classic RE4 manner, you can kneecap them and keen headshots are rewarded, but in later levels, they are tougher and eventually every enemy will have this internal stamina bar and nothing but the predetermined shot count will take them down. Passing this off as an action game is a fallacy. It’s an action RPG, with all the reactions of World of Warcraft’s expressionless enemies programmed in.

Worst of all, is Chris’ unending ability to not get out of the way when he needs to be quick on his feet. Not only can’t you run and shoot,or run and reload, but you can’t cancel a reload on the fly. 2001′s Halo saw Master Chief able to melee in the middle of a reload if caught unawares or suddenly ambushed, and yes he could reload while running. The lumbering dolt Redfield, stops moving with all the grace of his dribbling rabid foes and starts his three second reload cycle. Any damage he receives while this is happening is an unavoidable penalty, because that gun is going to get reloaded, same as the pointy stick was always going to hit you. In Capcoms own Street Fighter 4, it’s possible to cancel special moves
in order to fake out your opponent. Are Capcom serious in their
assertion that standing there like a nob and fiddling with your weapon
heightens the tension rather than just frustrating? The only horror you end up feeling is of your character’s inability to perform the actions you need to survive.

Fortunately to counter this it’s possible to limp through the game on a shred of energy if you keep Sheva close because she will tap you out Dom style every time you hit critical status. Of course if she’s in trouble you both die. Do it all again, try harder next time. Now they have pointy sticks and wooden headmasks, which are impervious to magnum shells. They must be made of the same titanium wicker as the impenetrable doors.